Recently I heard an alarming statistic while listening to a morning TV show interview of several relationship experts…that 80% of divorcing couples never participated in marriage counseling. Another of the experts stated that of the 20% who consult with a marriage counselor, 70% report significant improvement in their marriage as a result. What is wrong with this picture?
A little simple arithmetic tells us that out of 100 divorcing couples 80 never sought effective help. Of those 80 couples 70% or 56 couples might well have avoided divorce as a result. If these statistics are even close to being accurate (I have not personally seen the research), approximately half of the total number of couples going through a divorce could have put their relationship on a solid footing as a result of professional marriage counseling! One half could have avoided divorce!
The impact of divorce is tremendous and far-reaching. What if the number of couples (families) experiencing the anguish of divorce could be reduced by 50%?! That would also eliminate one-half of the many thousands of dollars spent on divorce each year and the negative effects on health and even work productivity!
Could these couples have actually saved their marriage and spared themselves the suffering and expense of divorce? My experience as a marriage counselor suggests the answer in many cases is ‘yes’.
We are left with the question, ‘why would 80% of divorcing couples not take advantage of counseling when the vast majority of those who do benefit tremendously from the counseling?’. In the next few blog posts I will explore some of the reasons that couples give themselves as a reason for not getting the help that could have turned things around in their marriage.
